This week my daughter turns 19!!!! Wowowowow. So happy for her and her college adventures. It is also a birthing anniversary. So I say happy birthing day too. To all the mamas. This was a big day for you. You birthed a human being. You brought this soul onto the planet and into this human experience. It was a transformation for you, too, mama.
You changed from that moment on. And wow, have you grown. Every birthday for that little one was a birthing of your growth and development and change and evolution. The tiny being comes out 100% dependent on us to help them survive and thrive. We give, we nurture, we teach, we love, love, love and slowly we have to start to let go. Little by little our heart may be ready but sometimes it aches for the connection with the little one, who needed us that much. It is ok mama to feel that. As Mr. Rogers says, “it is ok to feel two feelings at the same time”.
The loss of the little one and pure joy for the grown one. Mama, I see you and I am here for you. It is big and it is real. Our heart grows and expands and cracks and breaks and keeps on growing; pain and joy are sometimes intertwined in mothering. Mothering teaches us that change is a constant and something that is guaranteed. Every stage and age is ever moving.
Just when you learned to love that age and stage, it is over, without warning, just gone. Being present is one of the most important lessons too, otherwise, you miss the smooth, simple stage that is filled with ease and then BAM thrown into a challenging, crazy making, button pushing stage. But “this too shall pass” becomes a mantra and it does – pass. When you look back it is an amazing ride. Guiding a person to their calling, launching them onto their own road and wishing it all lasted a little longer.
So, to all the mamas out there: Happy birthing day . . . you are amazing, it is a miracle, you are miraculous you are.
Here we go . . . 2020 . . . new decade. Wow, it is fun to make that mean something big and grandiose. However, it is really another day, like any other. Within it is the total potential for all things or not, depending on you and what you want to do with it.
The cool thing is that every day and every minute and every second is an opportunity to start over, to start fresh, to recreate and reinvent! If you slept in and didn’t do your morning plan . . . well do it tomorrow. If you ate some food you didn’t want to eat . . . well make a different choice the next time you are presented with the choice. If you stopped what you were doing to do a common task for someone else (OPP, other people’s priorities) . . . then take note and SEE that this is happening so you can make a different decision about it next time this arises.
Seriously it is that simple. We spend sooooooooooo much time beating ourselves up for the “fail”. THAT is what really costs us days, years, health, well-being, mental sanity, etc. The actual skipped this or that that we didn’t do, if we acknowledge it and then correct the course, then BAM we are back on track.
When I am teaching yoga, I always remind my students that the practice is yours not the person next to you or behind you or me in the front. It is yours. It is your body, your mind, your injuries, your stress, your focus, Do what you can and feel good about it. Not do what you can and feel less than, not flexible enough, not thin enough, not this or that.
So much of the time we make a “mistake” and then throw our hands up and say well, it will never work, I can’t do this, and so on. What if you could see it for what it is, take the responsibility and then get back on track . . . right away! That would be a life changer, game changer, time saver. I think that is why so many intentions, goals, or resolutions do not get done. We all or nothing it. That is a monkey mind situation that totally holds us back. We are trying something new, we slip back to old ways, we see that, get up, dust off and get back to it! Period.
No hassling ourselves. If a child tried to ride a bike and fell and fell and fell and then RODE it . . . and then fell. Would you say, that is it, you aren’t going to be able to do this? Obviously NO. So, don’t do that to yourself. Don’t wallow in your misstep just get back to it ASAP. Period.
We can do this!!! Are you willing in 2020 to do this? When you make a mistake or revert to old ways or forget your new plan, are you willing to acknowledge that and then BAM get back on track?
When you revert or forget or don’t do what you wanted to do, please just SEE it, acknowledge it and then get back on the bike….deal? Deal!!!!
Happy, happy New Year!!!!
What is it you want to “be” in 2020? Not more to-dos but more I ams.
I am kind
I am creative
I am generous
I am successful
I am living abundantly
I am loving
I am patient
I am willing to grow
I am excited about my future
What are you willing “to be” that you have tiptoed around but haven’t jumped fully into? Let’s do it. Let’s jump in fully. Yes, maybe scary . . . maybe the what ifs pop up.
What if I can’t
What if I don’t
What if it’s too this or that
But guess what? What if it was more than you can even imagine?
Are you willing?
Time is going to pass anyway. Another year is going to come and go. So, let’s do something together that would make a difference in your life. As James Clear says in his book, How to Create Atomic Habits, if you can be 1% better every day, in creating your new habit it is like compound interest, the results will start stacking.
So, if it’s self-care or you have put OPP (Other People’s Priorities) ahead of your own then just commit to one small – and I mean small – new habit a day that moves the needle just 1%.
Like what, you ask? I am going to do one small thing for myself every day. Making myself a Priority. List out some ideas so you don’t “forget” and put them in your phone.
It could be things like:
Monday: Have my favorite tea (and acknowledge it. Savor it. Rushing to pick up a kid with your tea in the to go cup isn’t the same thing hahahaha)
Tuesday: read the Tuesday Tidbit (hahahaha)
Wednesday: Take a 10-minute walk
Thursday: Sit outside under a tree (for 10 minutes)
Friday: Take a bath
Saturday: Read a good book (go small-10 minutes)
Sunday: Write for 10 minutes a day.
Take 10 minutes today and just list out, stream of consciousness . . . so that you have a list to pick from. Believe me, sounds silly but if you are like me, sometimes you can’t even think of a small act of self-care. Be prepared for when you have a free ½ hour all of a sudden! What could you plop into that space that would mean something to you? You need to be able to go look at your list and pick one. Otherwise it might get filled with something you need to do for someone else.
It will get easier and it will be fun. Your brain will be grateful and it will become a habit!
For example: if I am willing to take better care of myself. I am committed to walking for 10 minutes, 5 days a week (or three days). Remember it is small so that we are successful. Make it seem too easy. Don’t monkey mind yourself into making it too big. The mind can get loud here: “Three days won’t do anything”.
Well maybe three days won’t do anything after 3 days but if you do three days for a year it will have made a difference. I love this 1% idea. When I am coaching clients, I always talk about taking “a small sweet step”. It is another way of saying it. The thing is small steps move mountains with consistent and continuous actions. That is what makes the difference. That is where your monkey mind might enter:
This is stupid.
This isn’t going to do anything.
I need to go big or go home.
Ugh I can’t.
Yes, you can. You need to be willing.
Willing to try. Willing to want it and willing to jump in. Tony Robbins always says that the difference he has seen in working with hundreds of thousands of people is that the successful people have a hunger. That is what drives them.
It could be the hunger to make a difference, to contribute, to live better, to love yourself more, to take care of yourself, to be something.
The hunger is personal to you.
I am hungry.
I am willing to be hungry.
Reinvent, reimagine, rediscover . . .
2020. A new decade. What, will you look back on and say, “wow, I am so glad I jumped into that and just went for it”.
I was willing and now I am____________.
Tell me. Share. I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for listening this year. Thanks for participating with me and being a part of my journey as a coach. I have loved your stories and success. That is just the best!!!! I love it. So please share with me. Thank you thank you thank you.
Let’s all grow!!!!
Happy Tuesday and happy new year.
If you have any friends who would like my Tuesday Tidbit, please spread the word!
I am growing!
Thanks for helping spread the word.
Holidays are upon us. I hope you have all been able to place some down time, self-care, relaxation and just plain chill time into all that is going on. This time of year is such an example of everything; the ups and downs, the hectic and calm, the sweet sentimental and sometimes the stressful and crazy making.
It is like life itself. It is all there. In every moment the beauty and the pain. The light and the darkness. As we grow and change and keep peeling those layers of the onion we are met with lessons. Some are fun and some are not. Either way they have come to us for a reason and walking through it is the hero’s journey. Joseph Campbell speaks of the hero’s journey; our call to adventure, where we through a crisis, become victorious and hence transformed.
Our life is this adventure. We continue to grow and change and fulfill our purpose, being present in the moments, listening to what we need to hear, the guiding and revealing of our next steps and taking actions that align with the mission we are on.
My prayer and wish for all of you is that you tune into yourself, deeply listening to the call of your heart, revealing what it is that you are to do and that you do it. No matter what. We need you to be you, the brightest, biggest you that you are meant to be. Lay down the fear and worry, rest it, let it float away and bring yourself fully to this new decade.
Take this last week of the year and think about this. Stew on it. What do you hear? Can you hear what you are trying to tell yourself? What do you need to do? Why? If you don’t know then quiet the noise around you. Walks are very powerful for me. I “hear” a lot when I am walking. I get many messages. Try it. Keep trying things until you “hear” it.
Let’s accept this adventure and transform ourselves and the world by being fully who we are meant to be!!!
Happy, happy Tuesday
Well, as we are coming into the holidays; kids getting out of school, shopping, food prep, gift giving, parties, teacher gifts, holiday events, work parties, etc. – I want to say; relax and take a time out!!!! Whenever you need it! Really, seriously, promise?
I am committed to this and, wow, what a difference it is making. Even sitting for 15 minutes and doing a puzzle or resting with your cat (who is the master of relaxation and self-care hahahahaha). Find these little moments in your day to take a time out. This is the gateway to staying healthy mentally and physically! So interesting that this year, my son is not in a traditional school and he hasn’t been sick once (neither have I). Less stress, less driving, less germs, more resting, more drinking water, better eating and it all adds up.
I was reminded recently about my need to drink ½ my body weight in ounces. I thought I was drinking a lot of water but when I really measured it, I saw that I was not drinking enough. That little, conscious shift helped me feel better (and it was an easy tweak to my day).
Just a tidbit to observe and see where you can pump up your self-care so that your health can benefit. I think I used to think of self-care as luxurious; nails (which I never do), hair, spa day, vacations so it always felt like too much.
For me self-care is the little bits all day long that are taking myself seriously when I need to just stop, stop doing and rest, relax and be quiet. Hope this can be a reminder to allow yourself the time out you may need. To not over think it or make it so big you don’t do it. Just to take yourself seriously and allow for the space to BE.
Love you guys. Hope the meditation is also adding care to you.
You know, when you're driving somewhere and you go there all the time and so you go the same way every time you go there? And sometimes you don't even realize what you saw on the journey! You just got in your car and went there because it's so autopilot, right?
Because you just go there every day, drive the same direction, you don't really notice things. You're just in your head and then all of a sudden, you're there and you don’t even remember driving there. So then maybe Waze or somebody will say, “Hey, you know, will you go that way so you can pick up something for me?” And so it'll force you to go a different way. And when you do that, you see things you never would have. There's different choices and options and streets. And that's kind of how coaching is.
It's like you can keep doing the same thing over and over and working hard and having good intentions and sometimes when it isn't working, you need to have that “Waze” pop in and say, go this way, try this, go that direction. You're still going to get to that destination, but maybe it'll bring you something else that you hadn't thought of. Because in your own sphere you just can't think of it.
I've definitely had this where just having another perspective has helped me. Get an “aha moment” within myself by seeing it another way. Just one of the benefits of having a coach. So many people are so close to doing what they want to do and it could be just a tiniest little thing and boom, you’re there! I would love to help you get to be where you want to be. Feel free to reach out and let me know if you have questions.
Have you heard of the sandwich generation? Are you a part of it? Well, here is a holiday story that just summed it up hahahaha. Laughing til you cry, do you know that feeling? Or even crying til you laugh and back again.
My family from 78 to 14 was together on Thanksgiving. It was fun and wacky and had all the elements of a good family mix of ideals, thoughts, interests and love at the center of it all. We have been known to always have a family activity that gets us out and about and is usually an adventure. This year with different health issues I thought it would be pretty mellow. Then my Mom announced we were going on an electric bike tour. Ok, I thought, I think we can do that. As we donned our helmets and got our bikes (that went upwards of 20mph) I started to get more and more concerned about the safety of 78 and 14 hahahaha.
We practiced loops in the parking lot and I was getting more and more worried. Wow, being a mother and a daughter is no easy task hahahaah. Everyone was gung-ho and 14 thought I was just simply acting crazy as my worry turned to laughter, tears and outright fear. Having witnessed one accident a couple summers ago I was not ready to set myself up for another moment like that. Maybe I have PTSD from that.
Either way off we all went, single file down the street following the guide. It was an amazing day, right after a storm, so clear and clean and right before the next storm. The views were incredible and I was lost somewhere between the amazing views, my 14 year old holding back so he could then gun it as fast as it would go to race to the front and 78 hanging on a tandem bike!!! At one point, the guide said, as my son flew by, “I have been there” and I replied, “between my son and my dad I might have a heart attack!” Hahahahaha.
I also had a flashback to when they talked me into going down the black diamond slope in Park City. Something I can still get sweaty thinking about. Yet, after that I was able to relax a bit and enjoy this adventure. Out of my comfort zone and worried for everyone’s safety is a lesson for me. Breath, have Faith, enjoy the moment, everyone’s path is everyone’s path and I am not in control of any of that. And guess what? It all worked out perfectly fine and fun; hot cocoa, the candy store, a ferry ride, the breathtaking view, wind in the hair, learning a new skill, and family bonding!
Thanks Mom. Again needing that push out of the comfort zone and the benefits are beautiful. So, I feel you if you are sandwiched. Hang in there and try to breath and enjoy both ends of this spectrum. It won’t last forever and the memories from this time are priceless. Grateful am I.
You did it! Now what? Do you give yourself a pat on the back or just move on to the next thing? And act like it’s no big deal that you did it?
I am getting better at this. Just taking a minute and acknowledging myself for doing what I said I was going to do.
When you have a win, small win, big win, it doesn’t matter. You did what you said you were going to do, you took a break, got a coach, did the meditation, took a walk, rested, sent the email, wrote the blog, recorded the podcast, finished the book, joined the gym, went to the gym, started the art class, ate a healthy meal, wrote the proposal and on and on!!!
Again this doesn’t have to be a huge deal but a moment of recognition for yourself, that you are doing it, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and THAT is huge!!! I have had clients who have a hard time keeping their agreements to themselves. Keeping themselves at the top of their priority lists. They start to do the thing that they want to do and yet they allow other things to bump it off. So when you DO do it, please take the time to stop and give yourself credit. You are on the path, you are moving forward, things are changing.
If it was easy to do (especially at first) then everyone would just do it hahahaah. When it is something new or uncomfortable or different and you take a step towards it then you have earned a moment of recognition. Each little step, action and move forward makes it a little easier for the next step, action and move. Less resistance = more momentum and boom we get into a rhythm, a flow.
After my live, digital workshop I had to run and get my son at school. On the way back there was this insanely beautiful full rainbow. I stopped to take a picture. He wanted to go home so I dropped him off and wazed IHOP. He told me that was the best hot chocolate hahaha. I had never been to the one that my Waze was taking me to but since it was the first rain we have had, chilly air and a rainbow, I wanted to celebrate with a hot chocolate! As I drove, I could see the rainbow in the sky but when I pulled into the parking lot, I was shocked that the end of the rainbow was coming out of the roof of IHOP.
Well!!!!! I took that as a sign. Nature giving me a gift. So please, as we end this year, only 5 more Tuesdays in 2019, take a minute for acknowledgement, recognition or even a hot cocoa and relish in the steps you are taking, big and small!
Happy, Happy Tuesday!!! Keep up with that meditation. Let me know if you have any questions or share with me how it has helped you!! I would love to hear that.
Community, community, community!! This is sometimes hard for some of us 🙋♀️I have moved 7 times in the last 10 years (I know yikes, right?). I am an entrepreneur and a mom and sometimes those things are just moving along so fast I get lost in it all. My head is down and I am doing what I need to do. This weekend I went to a conference -- community. Some of it was challenging for me, it was loud, hectic, packed with info (my head exploding hahahaha) but also, I met amazing women. I was reminded that sometimes I hide!!!!!
Whaaaaaat? Yes, sometimes I hide. Seriously, behind working and momming (yes, that is a verb). I had to come out from behind the computer, the steering wheel, the laundry pile, the refrigerator, the dog leash, the phone, etc. and into an uncomfortable place (out of that comfy zone) to grow. With support!!!! That is it. The support.
Wow!!!! It feels awesome to be around people who are doing something that means the world to them, something that is risky because they haven’t done it before, and are pushing themselves to a new level. NOT hiding anymore!!!! Let’s not hide in 2020! Let’s move together so that we can support, encourage, teach, learn, and grow BIG. Sometimes it is people you don’t know or have never met before because they are just getting you in a new way, different from your family or your friends. They get what you are trying to do because they are trying to do it too!
So where are you hiding? Look at it, observe it, and be honest about it so you can do what it is that when you think about it, makes you a little queasy Hahaahah. That is it. If the flutterflys in the stomach start beating and it makes you want to run to the bathroom you are on to something. Let’s bring THAT out. Really, I am serious.
I am going to have some things coming down the pipe here so that we can all move into that bigger space. And when we feel ughhh, or I can’t, or yikes, or who am I to do that, or I don’t know, or someone else is already doing that or or or or . . . we will be there to say You CAN!
Pass this on to your friends and family (newsletter join up here).
Join the community to push yourself in a good way, a positive way, maybe a scary way but an oh-so-important way. Come on!!!!!
“We are a big deal” -- Amy Porterfield.
Love you all!!! Happy Tuesday.
This is me and Julie at the conference 💜💙💚
I am a whirlwinder!!! Sometimes my energy is all over the place and then I end up exhausted. No bueno!!! Channeling that energy to the present moment can make all the difference. Sometimes I refer to this as yoga off the mat.
Honestly, most things, if done consciously, by being in the moment, can be a meditation. I wanted to write about this because in addition to our monthly three-minute meditation is the beautiful practice of being in the now. In this exact moment, doing nothing else but being right where you are, is in fact another form of meditation. Washing the dishes, doing the laundry, walking the dog, taking a walk, in line at the grocery, in the carpool line, watching your kids practice their sport, helping with homework, the doctor’s office, on a phone call and on and on and on.
This practice will energize you and invigorate you as you observe what is happening without mental chatter, the to-do list, on the phone and the computer and eating (hahahaah yes, ugh I have caught myself here). It is free and anyone can do it anywhere!!! Simple, yet sometimes tricky.
See if you can stay with the moment or does your mind want to whirlwind to what next, what else etc. No judgement, don’t beat yourself up if you are bouncing all over with your mind. Observe.
For me what I have learned, especially as my energy is shifting is that I have MORE energy when I am present, moment-to-moment, and NOT trying to do multiple things at the same time. In fact, when I catch myself feeling exhausted, I have looked back at the past couple of hours and have realized how much I was doing “at once” and whew it took a toll.
One way I contain my whirlwinder, swirling, multitasking mind is when I realize I am feeling tired and I observe my swirling mind, I stop, close my eyes, breath (long and deep, inhale 5, hold 5, exhale 5, through my nose) and then start again. Bang! It brings me back to the present and helps me focus. I found this little heart when I looked down as I was walking my dog. A little sign of presence.
Try it out. Observe, breathe and be in the moment. Let me know what your experience is.