Have you heard this before, “things happen for you, not to you.”? For you to grow and learn and develop. When you have a challenge, big or small, the question that needs to be asked is, “what am I supposed to learn from this?” Sometimes this is sooooo darn hard. When the circumstance feels brutal: divorce, bankruptcy, health crisis, a death etc. to ask what am I supposed to learn, can just piss you off.
However, once you travel through the anger and pain, when you can step back and “look” at it you will see an answer. Then you step into the lesson and learn it so that you can move on and don’t have to repeat and repeat (and the lesson grows in intensity so you want to get it sooner rather than later!!!). How do I know this? Hahahahaha I have asked and not gotten the answer or not wanted to look at the answer and have then been dealt the gnarlier blow to force me to see the answer. Either way it is brutal but if you grow from it, then it will never be brutal for the same lesson, you will be moving forward, growing.
This isn’t a straight line, it zigs and zags and sometimes we take three steps forward and one step back, 4 steps forward, 2 back. For me recently I saw a situation with so much clarity. I had been hammered and had continued to set myself up for the hammering by doing the same thing and not understanding why it was happening. Then I realized “ahhhhhhh, I get it, I will do things in a new way” and I did and guess what? It worked!!!! Things got better for a good 8 months and then I slipped and went back to my old way of handling the situation and BANG, I got hammered!!! Soooo clear. Not so fun but so clear.
When you see it like that you can then get support or help you stay on the path that works. That can be a coach, a friend, a support group, a sticky note reminder, a note in your phone, an alert you set, a part of your journaling etc. One example I looooove because it is so visual is: If a fan is just being a fan and you stick your finger in it and get your finger cut off. is it the fan’s fault? I know, sometimes we wish it was the fan’s fault but we know it isn’t.
Growing is hard sometimes, growing pains they say. I would rather have growing pains though than stuck frustration and bitter resignation. We can control what we do and what we need to set ourselves up to be strong and healthy. Take the time to see, really observe if something isn’t working and ask, “what is my lesson here?”. Journal about it. Sit quietly with it. Do this month’s meditation and then quietly ask yourself, “what is my lesson.”
Listen, learn and grow. Ask for help and support.
Love you all!!!
Keep me posted and shared or reach out if you need to.
Courtney Gebhart, Life Coach, Kundalini Yoga teacher, and Human Being.