Ok, I have stumbled upon my favorite self-care!!! Hahahahaha drive-through car washes!!! Not only is it fun and relaxing to sit in my car and watch all the dirt, grim and yucky stuff get pounded, soaped and blown off my car but it is a perfect metaphor for meditation. Meditation does the same thing to our mind. It clears the worry, doubt, fear, stress and anxiety of our crazy thinking, monkey mind and nuttiness and we become our sparkly, shiny, patient and radiant selves.
What is your favorite self-care? It can be simple; your favorite cup of tea, a walk, a bath, a car wash? I would love to hear from you. Please let me know. As school is starting, more transitions, different and new routines, we need to factor ourselves into our day. Something that is purely for our sanity and well-being. When I do this, wow, it makes everything better!!! Like a grown-up time out hahahaha. Breath, relax and reset … then continue on!!! Experiment with this.
Keep up with the monthly meditation and commit to a daily act of self-care; simple yet powerful!!!
Happy Tuesday!!! Good luck to everyone with school starting this week (my daughter had her first day of college today and my son on the opposite coast started 8th grade). And I got a car wash!!!!
Love you all!!!
Transformation: from the pollywog to the frog, the caterpillar to the butterfly, from high school to college, from your first born being single to getting married, from childhood to adulthood to “elderhood.”
Transitions, change and transformation are a fact of life. How we choose to handle it and grow (or not) is what our life will be about. Funny that Julie, my right hand everything in Coaching with Courtney is on the eve of marrying her first born and I am off to take my first born to college. We are in the thick of major life markers, moments you remember your whole life. What I am doing in the midst of doctor’s appointments; runs to Bed, Bath and Beyond; driving all over; organizing and preparing is staying in the moment. The hectic, crazy moment, the laying on my daughter’s floor moment; the purging pictures, stacks of old homework and art, the laugh attack moment, the poignant moment of seeing her sit on her bed and realizing she won’t be there next week.
It is easy to just go to “we will call and FaceTime” . . . and we will and that will; the purging of pictures, stacks of old homework and art; the laugh attack moment; the poignant moment of seeing her sit on her bed and realizing she won’t be there next week. It is easy to just go to “we will call and FaceTime” and we will and that will be fun, but I want to go through the emotions that come up.
It is a transformation, for me, too, as a mother, as a woman, and as a human on my path. The flashbacks of pregnant me and then singing her into being and just the crazy love I have for this little being who isn’t little anymore.
I am a glass half-full person, I am so excited for her upcoming adventures and possibilities but just like I always say, “put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help everyone else,” it is relevant, what I am experiencing and my transformation too. To acknowledge it, observe it, be present in it so that the moving through it is even a deeper connection to my own true journey of purpose.
So, I laugh and cry and laugh, laugh, and laugh, meditate, ponder, walk and remember and reminisce . . . it feels good to be here, in this moment with this girl. I love her so. Give this gift of presence to yourself when you are going through a “moment,” a time you know you will remember, let yourself be, enjoy it, even the parts that are hard and messy, you will grow and transform and deepen your purpose and clarity by allowing these moments to be truly lived.
Onward we go . . . until next Tuesday.
Love you all!!!
Keep up on that meditation!
Let me know your thoughts, questions and experiences.
Love you all
The August Meditation Video is out today!
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This month’s meditation is on maturity. And when I thought of maturity, I thought that's a weird meditation on maturity, we’re all mature adults, right? No, we're not. And you know, little kids who are mature and you know, older people who are not mature, right?
Well, I just love this definition of maturity in terms of everything, really the planet and all the ways of being. We’re always talking coaching, right? About how do you want to be and who are you willing to be as you live out in the day, around people, and at the market, and in any, in any interaction, right? And in coaching we talk about “look, see, tell the truth, take authentic action”. And that's what helps get you through the monkey mind, right? Of worry, doubt, fear.
If you look and see and tell the truth, then you can see what's monkey mind and you know it's not the truth. And then you can continue to move forward in the direction of what's important to you. So what I love about Yogi Bhajan’s definition of maturity in this way is that: maturity is reality plus patience. That's maturity plus conscientiousness, right? Think of the greater good plus action.
I love that because if we all sifted our actions through that . . . for instance, we can even say a plastic bag, right? If we look at our actions and how they're going to ripple out for a hundred years, we would do some things differently, right? And if we did that as a whole, wow, then we can really shift the times, right? So if you take a plastic bag, you know, that plastic bag going to live a hundred years in the ocean or wherever it is. Do we want to do that? No.
So you can then decide not to take the bag at all or to take your cloth bag. Right? So it just a simple way to like look at your actions for a hundred years. So anyway, that's one of the things I just loved about this meditation and I think you'll love it.
I’m really excited to hear how it goes for everyone – be sure to click above if you’d like to join us!
Life is short. You’re born, you live, you die. We have time, an unknown amount, to do what we came here to do: to share, to learn, to teach, to connect, to serve? What did you come here to do?
I can guarantee you it wasn’t just to run to the grocery, pay bills, work, repeat. Do you know why you are here? Are you living that purpose? If not, let’s get clear, let’s dedicate time each day to that discovery. It doesn’t even have to be a lot of time. That’s why I made the 15 Minute Monkey Mind Manager and why my monthly meditations are 3 minutes(ish). Tuning into yourself every day is important to this discovery and to staying the course through all the twists, turns, ups and downs that are normal yet can throw us off course.
And if you know your purpose, yeaaaaaaa!!! Dial it up. The time is now. What do you want to leave behind? What effect do you want to have had here? I recently watched the movie Coco. What I just loved is the beautiful way it reminds us that by talking and remembering and seeing our loved ones in pictures we keep them alive, telling stories and sharing experiences.
What do you want to be remembered for? Who are you? Be it. Be it every day, everywhere you go, in all your encounters and interactions. It matters. It does. Like dropping a little pebble in the water, it ripples and ripples so far beyond the original plop. Radiate who you are, your energy, vibrancy and your true essence, touch lives and connect.
We were traveling and were out of state, heading to the airport and my daughter searched for veggie burger and found a place, so we ventured off and it was an amazing experience. The food was delicious and my son said, “that was the most amazing waiter I have ever had at a restaurant.” Connection, connection, connection: this young guy was so invested in making our experience awesome that it just had to be awesome and it was!!!! And we will all remember that lunch, and that guy, as much as the whole trip.
I met a dear friend that I have known for over 36 years in a convenient mart, in a state I was in for only a week, from my freshman year of college before social media and the internet where staying in touch wasn’t as simple as it is now. Amazing.
People are amazing and have so much to offer. Connect, see them, be you and experience all there is to experience. Make your time here count!!!
Love you all!!!
Is taking a break hard for you? For me it is. With summer in full swing and added driving, activities, family goings on . . . know it is a needed break time. Heck, my meditation this month was for burnout. And yet, I find myself stressed when thinking about checking out and going away.
Funny how the human brain is wired. When we are in a routine, good, bad or ugly, it is what is known. And vacation is unknown so, there again, the primitive brain seizes up and grabs us by the juggler: ahhhhhhhhhh, you can’t stop now, danger, danger, danger.
Well, that is when we have to stop and realign to our higher brain, the higher consciousness that separates us from animals. We can control this even if sometimes it feels like we can’t. It is a practice. And building the muscle of awareness so that you can act and not react. Meditation for me and support (like having a coach) are ways for me to keep my practice on track which then keeps my brain on track. Otherwise it can be a runaway train of stress, anxiety and worry.
Also being in nature really helps. I took a glorious walk through theses amazing trees. Thank god for trees and shade (planting more trees is one answer to helping Mother Earth right now!!). Trees are so magical.
So, even if taking a break is hard for you, do it. Recharge, self care and when the reptilian brain tries to stop you, do the monthly mediation. Let’s train our brains and build the muscle of clarity, focus, ease and grace!
Happy summer. Have some fun and some extra relaxation!!!!
What does success mean to you? Everyone has their own idea of what it is. I love our definition in coaching: “Success is doing what you said you were going to do with clarity, focus, ease and grace.”
What does that mean?
Knowing with CLARITY what is important to you (I am willing to be a successful entrepreneur, a loving mother, physically fit and healthy, a contributor to my community) and setting goals to bring those things to life.
FOCUS: we use the 6 forms of energy to make these goals a reality.
EASE: learning to do SIMPLY what is next, moment by moment, small sweet steps.
GRACE: having gratitude even when it may be challenging or rough, learning and growing are sometimes painful. Nevertheless we can be grateful, even for the simplest thing, our morning tea or seeing a butterfly. Sometimes getting to the next level in our evolution requires some metamorphosis (the butterfly, the frog) and we can even be grateful for that, trusting that going through it will bring us to something new. It is important to have support here!
Often when we think up ideas, visions and possibilities, we get excited, there is a weightlessness about the creation in visionary reality. It is light, energized, exciting. When we then bring it down into physical reality and start taking the steps and actions that will create it, we are met with gravity. That is when we get challenges, push back, monkey mind and on and on.
All of this is normal when we are doing something new. Supporting you to “be successful”, doing what you said you were going to do, one action at a time, pushing through the internal blocks and the monkey mind of worry, doubt, and fear to achieve the things that mean so much to you is what I love about coaching.
Reach out if you need support. We can chat and see if coaching is right for you. In the meantime, keep up with the meditation for burnout! That eight-count breath is magic to the brain!!! Awe, enjoy!
Wow. When I heard Brene Brown say,
“If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself”
I nearly ran off the road. That is just so profound. If you are like me, a recovering people-pleaser, then maybe you will relate to the weight of this comment.
I love it too, in terms of coaching because we are always talking about the monkey mind (our worry, doubt and fear) and how that affects taking action. When we are consumed with monkey mind, in this scenario, we would not say anything, hence no conflict yet the war inside begins.
What greater way to challenge yourself and your ability to quiet your monkey mind than to know you need to say something that will create conflict but if unsaid will start a war inside yourself. WOW.
In coaching we also talk about coherence -- acting in alignment with our path, flow, life’s intentions (we get clear on this in coaching). Or incoherence -- making decisions that are not aligned with our life’s intentions. This statement sums up so much about living authentically; being on your “hero’s journey”; coherently making decisions that align with your purpose and observing the gap that occurs when you don’t.
This gap is where coaching can be supportive. When you see what you need to do, are willing to do it, and yet aren’t doing it. Reach out if you need support or have questions. Practice the meditation, the quieting of the monkey mind so that you can “hear” and “see” the small sweet actions you need to take toward your purpose.
Summertime and the living is easy . . . hmmmm, don’t you sometimes feel like you’re doing summer wrong? For most of us summer is far from easy and with upended schedules, all kinds of social activities, and that overwhelming urge to ENJOY summer, this season can be as hectic and stressful as the holidays!
And that’s where our meditation practice comes in! As we’ve talked about, meditation is calming for your nervous system and you need it the most when you're just doing a lot. And I love that you can do it anywhere! Even in the parking lot as you wait for your kids or at the park before you head out for an afternoon with family. Give yourself this gift this summer. Just five minutes a day will benefit you and once you’ve built that “meditation muscle”, it will become routine (and you’ll actually miss it if you don’t do it!).
If you’d like to join us in the Summer Burnout Meditation, just sign up for our newsletter. (Click here to sign up). I’ll send you the video right away. I encourage you to practice this meditation for at least 40 days straight and give yourself a minute or so of stillness after you finish it. Pay attention to how you feel afterwards. This is also a great before bedtime meditation to share with your kids!
Have you ever compared your now self to your past self or your younger self? I laugh because it's kind of just a setup. The funny thing is that it's a set up for disaster because we cannot ever compete with our old selves, the self that was the younger self. If you've ever looked at yourself in a picture and thought, "Oh, if I only looked like that or was in that position now." But yet you remember what you were thinking then when that picture was taken and it wasn't like possibilities and I look fabulous and right, isn't that interesting?
So what is it that we want the next 50 to be like? It's up to us.
If we can think it, we can start to project it into ourselves to believe it and to take action toward it. It's so much of life and around life is telling us kind of at this age that: "Well, you've lived a good time. You know, now just kind of pack it in and wait to hit the road. I guess." I don't know, but I'm not ready to hit the road yet. Meaning the Rainbow Bridge to the other side.
I want to do more.
I want to contribute more.
I want to see more.
I want to live more.
And I want us to all work together to have it be the way you want it to be for yourself.
And it's different for all of us, right? We all have different visions and dreams, but I want to encourage us to step into it and make it take the lid off and explore what it is that you, if you could do anything and yet 50 more years, what would you do?
Come on. Let's think about it. The next 50.
These are the little guys making so much noise in my video!
Let’s talk a little bit for about perfectionism. It's such a drag. Why does this creep into our brain from time to time? I feel like I have let myself off the hook for being perfect and yet it creeps in there every now and then and I'll think: why am I worried about this? Or why am I stressed about this? And then I realized it's because I want to do a good job or I want it to be good. And that's perfectionism really.
Because if I didn't care, I knew I would just do my best and do it, then that would be enough. Right? And so the worry about the result is what causes that anxiety in the moment.
I recently had an audition and it was so fun cause I haven't seen a lot of people that I got to see. And I love that. It's kind of an old community that I miss. And so when I have an audition, I get to see old friends. It's really fun. My friends and I were talking about, because of our age and stage there's less auditions for us. And so we're not as quite in the routine of audition, audition, audition, which makes it much more casual and less nerve-wracking, right? And when you just get one out of nowhere, it's a little bit more stressful.
And so why is that? Because we want it to be good. We want it to be perfect. We want to book the job, right? And so all of that is a monkey on our back. And so it was actually such a great conversation and we alleviated our perfectionism by releasing that deep conversation together.
And it was great and freeing, but I thought, you know what? It's like just when you think you don't have that happening, it happens, right? So it's kind of an ever-present awareness of letting yourself off that hook of being perfect, of making it right. Just do it and not worrying about the result.
It's hard sometimes because we want something or we want to do it well or we want to be good. But really that just causes stress and anxiety. And so as much as we can focus on what we're doing, then our consciousness and our awareness is in the action instead of the result, which causes that tension.
Hope you guys are having a good day.